Thursday, January 6, 2011

Wine Flu

A few months ago I went to my local wines and spirits store to pick up a cheap bottle of wine.  When I told the clerk what I was looking for (a cheap bottle of white wine) he began asking me a series of questions about wine that I had no idea how to answer.  One of my biggest fears in life is looking dumb in front of other people.  It's the reason I shy away from many activities..fear of looking stupid.  The clerk finally realized I am not educated in wine so he gave me the house white and called it a day (it tasted fine to me).  After I left though, I decided that possibly I should learn more about wine so I signed up for a wine tasting class at the Institute of Culinary Education.

I chose to take Best WInes Under $20 and over $50.  The class consisted of a few couples, a few groups of friends, distinguished older gentleman and another single girl like me.  There were a few wine snobs in the class that kept interrupting the teacher with their knowledge of wine. I knew one guy would be a wine snob right away because he wore both a turtleneck and a scarf..why you need both I don't know but it automatically makes you look like a douche.  I thought i could bond with the girl next to me and maybe make a friend but this girl was reading from the kindle app on her iphone the entire time and barely touching the wine.  Why do you voluntarily pay for a class and then not pay attention at all?  I don't understand people. 

The teacher explained each wine in detail - color, smell, taste, etc but for the life of me I could not smell the hint of honey or lemongrass nor could I tell the difference between a "woody" wine or "licorice" flavors.  The cheap wines tasted just as nice as the expensive wines.  I finished each glass off only to look around me and see other people were just sipping their wine and pouring the rest in the spit cup.  No thanks. I paid for this class I'm drinking all of the wine (and eating all of the complimentary cheese). 

Overall the class was a good experience but I don't think I'll be any more educated in the wine store.  The only things I did learn for sure:

1. I'm still going to buy cheap wine
2. I hate sharp cheeses
3. Next time I should bring a friend with me (they offered glasses of wine at the end of the class but I felt awkward standing around with the wine snobs)
4. Nametags + My hair = ouch

Next time I go in a wine store I'll just have a brand in mind to avoid the question embarrassment.

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